FAIL

• Tiger Woods. For getting caught.
• Hanover’s Mark Hotchin. Escaping a hostile shareholder’s meeting by taking a wizz.
• Obama – finally committing  troops to A-stan in the style of Bush, then setting an arbitrary date to pull out.

WIN

• Britain’s Chancellor of the Exchequer, for admitting the country can’t spend its way out of recession.
• The All Whites World Cup draw.
• Inheriting billions of dollars after living in a cave.

Saturday Night Live mocks you.